Lady In The Mirror
by Camikingst
Summary: After Regina casted the dark curse, her magic mirrors became her only source of amusement, but even spying peasants' miserable lives was dull when their routines repeated in an endless loop. When she was about to give up her sanity to her humdrum life, her mirror showed her the only fairytale character that was remotely amusing a little girl with blonde curls and bright green eyes.
1. Humdrum revenge

**Chapter 1: Humdrum Revenge.**

" _Where are we going?" Snow White asked with shaky voice, her husband lying limp in her arms._

 _"Somewhere horrible, absolutely horrible, a place where the only happy ending will be mine," she answered, pure delight written on her face as her curse flooded the palace._

Sometimes she really wished she could go back in time, scream to herself "Don't it! Don't go you idiot!".

Regina sat in the edge of her queen size bed, she looked around the room. _"Another happy day in humdrum town,"_ she thought to herself, walking to the window.

"A place where the only happy ending would be mine," she snorted wryly.

Few minutes later the Mayor was ready for another boring day of work. She was sure she had important matters at the Town Hall, important matters that she had to carry out immediately, but wasn't it always like that?, wasn't it like that every day of her absolutely boring life?

"Good day Madam Mayor, I have some urgent city taxes for you to approve and you have an appointment scheduled with the sheriff at ten and other with the fire Marshal at twelve," her secretary informed as she always did.

"I have other urgent matters to attend today, please reschedule the appointments for tomorrow and pass the tax reports to my desk when the are ready to sign," she replied, she memorized that line about the second day she arrived to town.

"They already are in your desk."

"Of course they are," she rolled her eyes entering her office.

One minute after she sat down on her desk she had finished signing the reports, not that she really needed to, since she would have to do it again the next day anyway, she just did it more out of routine rather than need.

"Which peasant's boring life should we spy on today?" she asked drumming her fingers on the desk in front of the middle sized mirror she kept over the desk, pretending that the meditation on the matter made any difference.

She already knew every single detail of every single life of every single citizen in Storybrooke, from the hour they used to wake up to what meals they would ate that day and the clothes they would wear, what people they would meet in the street or at their work and every single conversation the would hold with everyone.

She had watched everything so many times she could repeat the dialogues as if it were the dialogues of her favorite movie, if she had a favorite movie anyway.

The brunette turned around in her chair facing the window behind her desk.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, show me someone, I haven't already watched twice," Regina spoke her wishes knowing nothing would happen, the magic of the mirror was limited in this land, the mirror came from the Enchanted Forest and therefore it only showed people that came from the Enchanted Forest as well. There was no one from the enchanted forest that she hadn't already watched at least ten times already, after all she had been trapped in the curse for more than five years, all by herself. Consciousness was the real curse of the dark curse.

"Get off the way pipsqueak," the sound of a shrill voice echoed behind her back.

"It's impossible," Regina muttered spinning around her chair to face the mirror.

Regina's eyebrows darted up as she watched the events happening in front of her.

"You are better off on the floor with your kind, bug," the same voice continued, it came from a roughly ten years old fat boy that now was pushing a little blonde girl at least five years younger than him down to the floor.

His voice was followed by the laughter of other children she couldn't see in the mirror and then by the sound of several footsteps getting away.

The little girl remained sitting in the floor, she hugged her legs and buried her face in her knees. The little sobs filling the air of the tiny bedroom.

"Stupid little bastards," Regina let out upset.

What happened next left her speechless. The girl lifted her head quickly from her knees and her bright big green eyes fixed on hers. The little blonde's cheeks were still damp of her tears but her eyebrows rose up in the air with surprise.

It was not possible, it almost seemed like the girl was seeing her. No, it was definitely not possible at all. Her mind was obviously playing tricks on her.

"Hi! Who are you? I'm Emma. You are pretty, ma'am," the little girl said smiling wide.

Regina's eyes widened even more.

* * *

AN/: Please let me know if you like the idea of this story and if I should carry on with it.


	2. The little Swan

**Chapter 2: The little Swan.**

"Ma'am? Do you hear me?" the little girl insisted rising from the floor and approaching to where she was, next thing Regina knew was that the little blonde girl was poking the mirror with her index finger.

"I—I'm Regina," she replied still confused, "who are you?" she asked still incapable to believe what was happening.

Her question made the child laugh.

"I already told you miss, I'm Emma," the girl said running to bring the chair that was in the corner of the room, she placed it in front of the mirror and sat staring at the brunette curiously, big smile, tears still moistening her checks.

"Yes, of course, well, it's really nice to meet you Emma, but what I meant was, who are your parents? Where do you live?" Regina queried, wondering why was that the first time she saw that girl, "I don't recall seeing you before."

She knew it was almost impossible that she had never seen this girl around the town or in her mirror, not once in the five years she had been trapped in this hell of a curse, and yet hope was growing inside her, maybe and only maybe she was not the only one trapped in the curse, maybe this little girl would become the company she craved, almost as bad as she had craved revenge when she was the evil queen in the enchanted forest.

Careful what you wish for. Wishes, desires, they should come with a big warning in the front, "don't try, you are not worth enough for happiness".

"I don't have parents miss, I live in an orphanage in Boston, are you from Boston too?" The blonde answered.

Hope is a big bubble that is waiting for the right moment to explode right in your face.

"I'm afraid not, little one," she answered looking at the girl with sadness, "I live in a town called Storybrooke."

It was not like if this was the first time she saw an orphan, actually there were several children out there, that were in the same situation that this little girl, by her own hand and doing, however somehow this little blonde girl was different to any other child she had ever met. And she didn't deserve to live a life deprived from the happiness and love that only her parents could give her.

 _"Since when do I care about anyone else's happiness but mine?"_ She recalled asking her father once.

Maybe it was just her loneliness talking, maybe it wouldn't matter if the girl was the daughter of Snow White in person, maybe she would feel exactly the same if that was even possible. As unbelievable as it sounded and felt, she actually cared.

"Okay," Emma shrugged, "are there many playgrounds there?"

"A few," Regina smiled.

"I like playgrounds, a lot of lots, like this much" the blonde said separating her little arms as wide as she could.

"That's a lot of love kiddo, maybe someday we can play in a playground together, would you like that? " she replied laughing.

"Will there be ice cream Miss?" the child asked her eyes shining bright in anticipation.

"I think that there is a high possibility of that happening," the brunette laughed.

"Then I think I will like to go play with you a lot of lots ma'am."

"You don't need to call me ma'am or miss every time Emma, you can call me Regina," she said to the kid, still laughing at Emma's honest excitement over ice cream.

"Sister Helena says it's disrespectful to call grownups by their names only," Emma shrugged.

"But sister Helena isn't here right now, is she?"

"She is not, Regina," Emma whispered to the mirror giggling mischievously.

Days went on and Regina used her magic mirror to talk with Emma every single day, no exceptions. Occasionally she even told the girl bedtime stories, stories about princes and princesses and the scary evil queen and her dark curse. Anyhow, the girl seemed to enjoy everything she told her about the Evil Queen, her eyes sparkled every time she talked about capturing Snow White and finally be near to her longed for vengeance and then, when she talked about Snow's miraculous escapes, the girl always made a pout and started complaining.

"But why can't the Evil Queen get her happy ending?"

"Villains don't get happy endings darling, well, that's what I've been told," Regina answered shrugging.

"But why? Villains are way more super cool than heroes, they have magic, and magic is so cool and they are beautiful like you Gina, why can she be happy?"

"Believe me little one, I've been asking myself the same question my whole life, now sleep little Swan."

"Will you stay until I sleep?"

"Always."

"I love you Gina," Emma let out in the middle of a yawn.

And just like that, those three words she thought she would never hear directed to her, came from a five year old girl and warmed up that empty hole in her heart she had had for such a long time.

"I think I love you too, little Swan," she whispered but the little girl was already asleep.


	3. Hope

**Chapter 3: hope.**

Little Emma zipped her jacket reluctantly, normally she would be the first child standing in front of the door on excursion day, though this time was different, going out meant she would be nowhere near a mirror therefore she wouldn't see Regina for a long space of time and even when Regina had tried to convince her to go the day before, talking about the playgrounds, ducks and little swans the girl loved so much, she was still doubtful of whether she should go or better trick the nuns into believing she was sick so she could stay in her room and be with Regina. Somehow she decided to go, after all she could always see Regina at night and ask for more stories of the amazing Evil Queen.

"Don't run little monsters!" One of the nuns shouted when they arrived to the park and all the kids started running in different directions, by the time she finished the phrase Emma was already sitting in a bench by the pond watching the Swans swim. Swans were her favorite animals now, just because Gina called her her little swan.

"I think the sister was referring to you with that, little monster," a woman said sitting beside her in the bench.

Emma's eyes opened wide when she turned around to look at the woman.

"Gina is you!" She shouted jumping to hug the woman.

For a moment Regina didn't know what to do, she was so unused to hugs, that her first reaction was to be as stiff as a statue, but then she just hugged the girl back.

"Don't scream little one, they will think I'm trying to kidnap you, do you want me to get in prison little swan?" Regina said tickling the blonde girl.

"I'm not ticklish Gina," Emma told her with a bright smile.

"That's a shame, because ticklish girls could get some ice cream, you know?"

"But I'm the most tickliest girl in all the world," Emma said with sparkling eyes.

"Oh then, I think the most ticklish girl in the world deserves some ice cream," Regina smiled pulling an ice cream jar from a paper bag she was carrying and giving it to the girl with a spoon, "let this be our little secret Emma, okay? You are not supposed to receive things from strangers little Swan, did you know that?"

Emma laughed while nodding energetically.

"You're not a stranger, you are Gina!" She exclaimed rolling her eyes blank as if that was the truest fact ever said.

The girl ate up her ice cream happily talking to the woman beside her, while Regina looked at her fascinated by how easily Emma found happiness in the smallest things, like ice cream, playgrounds and swans. She started wondering if she ever had been like that herself, maybe sometime, when Cora wasn't looking.

Being there sitting in that park bench with that little girl, was probably the first time she felt real happiness in decades, even though she still felt like something was missing, she still felt like something was wrong. She couldn't avoid feeling like one of those frustrated women without kids, that went to the park to harass somebody else's children. Emma was nobody's child though, however, Emma was neither hers.

"Gina?" The girl snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Tell me, sweetie."

"I have an idea," Emma started whispering in her ear like it was a secret, "you should adopt me," Regina's heart skipped a beat, "I'm intelligent, and I can draw and I love food and I can be serious like this," the girl stopped for a second so she could see her better interpretation of a serious expression, "and we can scare people together like the Evil Queen from your bed stories, she is pretty amazing!"

The Evil Queen becoming a mother, taking care of someone else's life and not just her own. Was she good enough for maternity? Probably not. Was she actually considering it? Strangely yes.

"That's a very good idea little swan," she finally said when she could react from the surprise.

"Emma!" someone screamed at their back and before Regina knew what was going on, the little girl was dragged out of her reach by her ear, "how many times do I have to tell you, don't talk with strangers!" the nun's face was bright red and she was pulling Emma with a lot more force than needed, hurting her.

"Excuse me, can you please stop that," Regina jumped in the middle of the nun and Emma, placing the girl at her back protectively.

"She's just an orphan, nobody's business, ma'am."

"Well she is my business now, sister."

"Oh yeah? Why don't you adopt her then?" the nun laughed cockily knowing what would be the answer.

"That's what I intend to do!" Regina almost screamed pissed off with the woman attitude.

AN/: Thank you everybody for the support on this story, I really appreciate all your comments and love, also i'm planing on doing some fan art for this story, you will find it in my instagram account soon dremcs.


	4. Deception

"Hey sweetie, why don't you go to your room while I talk with Sister Helena." Regina said peeking her forehead.

"Okay," Emma smiled.

"See you in a while little Swan."

"So what can I do for you, miss...?"

"Mills, my name is Regina Mills, nice to meet you," she said shaking the woman's hand.

"Sister Beatrice said you are interested in adopting a kid, is that so?"

"Well yeah, but I'm not interested on any kid, I want to adopt Emma."

"I see," the woman said adjusting her reading glasses, "you must know adopting a child is not like going downtown for shopping, it's a hard and long process."

"I'm well aware of that mother superior, but I love that child and I don't care how long it takes, if at the end I get to be her mother."

"All right I'm gonna give you a form to fill up and a list with the documents we need you to bring on your next visit," the sister said handing her a folder.

The form was long an asked about very specific aspects of her life she hadn't thought about in years, it took her about half an hour to fill up, but once she was done with that the nuns allowed her to spend some minutes with Emma before she had to go.

She sat on Emma's bed right beside her, looking around the room she couldn't avoid to find it similar to the cells of her old castle back in the enchanted forest, it made her sad. Emma didn't deserve to live like this, nor did any of the other kid, but she didn't care about any other child but the little blonde girl beside her.

"Do you really want to adopt me Gina?" Emma asked making her stop looking around the room and fix her gaze on her.

"I really do little Swan, would you like that?" She smiled to the girl caressing her cheek softly.

"I would like that a lot of lots Gina, you are my favorite person in the world!" The girl said excited.

"Let me tell you a secret little one," she said bending over, "you are my favorite person in the world too," she whispered poking her little nose.

Emma laughed.

"Can I go to Storybook with you now?"

"It's called Storybrooke love and I'm afraid you can't yet, but I promise I will come back for you Emma."

"Pinky promise?"

"What honey?"

"Like this," the little girl said holding out her pinky finger and making her do the same, she then entangled her fingers, " this is a promise you can't break," she explained and then she broke the bond with her other hand.

Regina just kissed her forehead and smiled.

"I won't break it," she said against Emma's forehead, "I have something for you Emma."

She started digging in her purse until she found the little silver locket.

"What is it?" Emma asked looking at the locket when Regina put it around her neck, it had a Swan carved on the front.

"If you open it you will find a magic mirror and if you ever feel alone you can use it to contact me, I'll always be there for you."

"Thank you Gina!" Emma jumped standing on the bed and hugged her by her neck.

Regina had to leave after that, kicked of would be more convenient to call it. She kissed her goodbyes to the little girl and jumped in her black Mercedes, because she had a lot of things to get ready back at home.

...

Two weeks passed and Regina had everything she could possibly need to welcome Emma at home, she had used a little help from Gold to Speed up the process and if everything was according to planned she would be able to bring Emma home this afternoon.

The ride to Boston never seemed so long to her, her hands were sweaty and she couldn't wait to see Emma again. They talked every night through the locket she gave her, but it was not enough in her opinion.

"Everything you asked for is there Mother superior," Regina said handing her a big folder filled with documents, recommendation letters and pictures of her house and Emma's new bedroom, she had just finished decorating and filling with stuffed animals and dolls.

The nun went through the files a million times before she said any word, the silence was driving Regina crazy, but she managed to Bute her tongue and wait.

"Everything seems to be in order, so I think we will have no problem with you taking her today," she finally spoke signaling a nun to go bring Emma with her hand.

"That's amazing sister, thank you very much" she said happily, "although, I would like you to give me all the information you have of her, like her biological parents, or anything you know."

"I'm afraid we don't know much Ms. Mills," the woman said pulling a folder from the right drawer of her desk, " just that she was found on the side of a highway in main by a seven year old, we are not certain if his story is completely true, the poor creature was all confused, here this is the boy who find her," she said handing Regina a clipping with a picture of a boy holding a baby on it.

Regina was sure she had seen that boy before, but that was certainly not possible, her mind had to be tricking her.

"Why do you say he was confused?" She asked vaguely, while still reading the article.

"Oh well the police interrogated him about the baby and all he kept saying was that his name was Pinocchio and that his mission was to protect her."

And all of a sudden Regina's world crumbled, it all clicked in, why the magic mirror showed Emma in the first place, where the girl really came from and most important who she really was. Her eyes wondered to date the article was written.

October 23, 1983.

"The day after the curse," she mumbled.

"Excuse me? I didn't quite get that," mother superior queried.

"I can't do this," Regina whispered, "I'm sorry, I can't—" she repeated jumping of her seat and rushing to the door.

"Regina?" Emma called her in the hallway, " where are you going?"

"I'm sorry little swan, this was a mistake," she said, tears streaming down her face.

"I don't understand," the girl said, also with tears filling her eyes to the brim.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me, " she said running towards the building's door.

"You promised!"

Was the last thing she heard from the girl before she run off to her car.

AN/: Alright guys, I know, you must hate me right now, this chapter was so difficult to write because I knew I was breaking everything you hoped for this story, but this was always the way it was supposed to go, I just kept getting love response from you on the mother/daughter bond and I didn't want to break it down for anyone, but I had to, that's why this chapter took me forever to write, but seriously this shit was so hard to write, you have no idea. I hope you like it tho despite of the sadness and heart break.


	5. Agony

Regina stumbled on her house portico with an empty bottle of gin few hours after she left the orphanage, maybe driving in that poor state of mind was irresponsible, but so was rising a five year old orphan hope and then destroy her dreams because you are incapable to let go of a stupid revenge that make you nothing but unhappy. Her makeup was all messed up and she could barely remain standing while she fought with her clumsy fingers to get her keys out of her purse.

A scream of agony left her lips, as soon as she closed the door behind her back, she kicked off her high heels, trying her best to made her way to her study quickly, fresh tears streaming down her face as she crushed the empty bottle she carried against the wall, another scream left her lips as she watched the little crystals sprinkled on the carpet, shining because of the dim moonlight seeping through the window.

She then grabbed as much bottles of booze as she could possibly carry and stumbled her way upstairs and into the recently decorated room.

She dropped the bottles on the bed and hurried to open the first, avoiding to let her gaze travel around the place, she swallowed a mouthful of scotch after another, standing there beside the bed, with her eyes tightly shut, until she had downed the whole bottle and started a new one. The brunette felt her legs failing and simply let herself fall on the floor, her back leaning against the bed as she continued drinking as if that was the only thing holding her to dear life, never daring to open her eyes, whilst she cried her heart out. She soon passed out right there sitting on the floor.

...

The light seeped through the window when she woke up, the room was so bright her head immediately started throbbing, she tried to push herself up from the uncomfortable position she was laying on the floor, she felt the muscles of her stiff neck pulling her back down, but she forced herself up.

For a moment she was unable to remember why in life she had passed out on the fluffy purple carpet of Emma's bedroom, just for a moment though, everything came back to her like a wrecking ball trying to get her down and rage soon took over her.

Flying crystals filled the room as she threw the empty bottles aiming to walls and shelves with no distinction, when she finished with all the bottles even the ones that she hadn't even started, she heard it, a muffled sound came from inside Emma's wardrobe.

"Where are you Gina? Why did you left me here?" The distinctive sound of pain surrounded her as soon as she stepped in the wardrobe, green bright weepy eyes met her from the roof high mirror on the wall.

Little Emma's face was a mix of sadness, surprise and happiness when she saw her, but with a flick of her had her image faded from her locket mirror and Emma could see her no more.

"Never show me, to her again," she said through gritted teeth, punching the mirror repeatedly with both hands, until the mirror was no more than little pieces and Emma's reflection was a puzzle on the floor. Emma's sad eyes laid on the floor, tearful green eyes, she soon made disappear with a hit of her bare foot heel.

Blood. There was blood all around the room, her feet were bleeding and so did her hands, but it didn't matter, she needed to get it all out.

The window crushed down as she pushed a chair through it, followed by everything she could put her bleeding hands on, clothes, dolls, stuffed animals and basically anything that fitted the limited space of the window frame.

She was not certain how many times she walked over the same broken crystals and mirror pieces trying to get over with it, nor how much blood she lost in the attempt, much less she knew how much time passed until Graham stopped her or how he was capable to endure all her kicks, punches and scratches, since she fought for minutes in order for him to let go, but he didn't. Now they both laid on the half knocked down mattress, in an awkward angle over the floor as he hugged her tightly and she repeated over and over with shaky voice, the same three words.

"Burn it all."

...

Regina only got a grip on her self-restraint, when the sheriff carried her out of the room, that now looked more like a crime scene than a child's bedroom. She sat on her king sized bed, watching the bearded man running around her, bringing several things to cure her wounds, because she didn't allow him to call an ambulance.

The brunette remained quiet and still, whilst he pulled out the crystals from her hands and feet, the pain was nothing compared with what she felt inside.

"This will sting a little," he warned when he removed all the crystals and prepared to spill alcohol over the cuts.

She observed the white liquid touch her bleeding skin without batting an eyelid, she felt nothing but the agony that teared her heart apart.

"That's all I can do here Madame mayor, I will put some bandages, but I really think you should hit the hospital for some stitches," Graham said calmly and she shook her head in denial.

"That," she said with raspy voice pointing to a little crystal jar inside the first-aid kit.

"I don't think this salve can make a difference, to be honest," the man replied but did as he was told, as soon as the substance touched her skin the magic within it started to work and the wounds began to disappear. Graham finished his work without saying a word, sometimes remain silent about the strange things that happened in the mayor's house was the best decision.

Regina pulled him over the bed when the magic was done and the bandages were no longer needed.

Once again as she had done many times in the past, she let her favorite soldier toy wipe her pain away with his hands and suck her soul out with his mouth.

AN/: Okay guys, I think I might have gotten addicted to this story, maybe because I'm a sadist and like to make you suffer or even because I'm a masochist and suffer along with my writing, whatever is the reason I think I'll write more often, so enjoy or try through the pain I cause you ;)


	6. Reflections

**Chapter 6: Reflections.**

It took Emma a few years to give up on hope that one day Regina would come back and take her, eventually she started believing that it had all been a fantasy of her own. The nuns were kind enough to let her believe, that it had all been a product of her lonely imagination, the poor kid had suffer enough already. And soon enough the locket she used to call the mysterious lady in the mirror every night, was forgotten and she never opened it again, she just wore it as the remainder that hope was the worse curse of them all.

Regina lived Emma's life through reflections, watching her every step from the shadows of her mirror, aware that her order to the magical object remained and her image would never be shown again to the girl. She was constantly torn between drinking a memory potion and forget the girl or live through the mirror and regret.

She never found it in herself to erase the little one, because deep inside, no matter how much she tried to deny it, the little blonde mess of feelings, was the best thing that ever happened to her, in this damn cursed land.

She watched the girl growing and even when the girl was still a child, she could see in her eyes how something was slowly going darker and the day the light extinguished from those emerald orbs, was the day the girl closed the locket for good. And as a reminder of that stolen light, Emma never talked again in front of any mirror, making the need to hear her voice crept into Regina's brain like a sickness, she could see the girl playing, drawing in her bedroom at that orphanage, waiting, always waiting but Emma never said a word again.

Years flew as she watched eagerly the reflections of an stolen childhood, different houses, never a real home, never a word. Many times she regretted her decision to leave, many times she picked up the phone and dialed the phone numbers Mr. Gold very "kindly" procured to her, but she never found the strength needed to emend her error, knowing Emma probably hated her and also aware that it was just a matter of time for Rumplestilskin's prophecy to become a reality, Emma would break the curse and Snow White would snatch her out of her loving arms, like she was a monster trying to corrupt and harm the same child, she had sent to a strange land all alone, being no more than few minutes old to begin with, although she wouldn't be so wrong branding her as a cruel monster, after all, she had already hurt Emma badly, barely weeks after meeting her and that was something even herself could not forgive.

And so little Emma grew up with no loved ones arround and Regina watched it all without rising a finger to change it. Twice a year though, Regina sent two anonymous presents to the girl no matter where she was currently being "cared" of, foster house, or orphanage, Emma would receive her birthday and her Christmas presents, fancy things that could not replace the love she had stolen from the girl.

With the years grabbing a glance at the girl grew more and more difficult, the teenager blonde was not vain and had grown a well deserved hatred towards mirrors, so she barely used them for five minutes a day to get presentable for the day, not that she had anyone to look at her, she was lonely and constantly overlooked by the people around her, that gave her one of her "superpowers" or so she called it. She was able to easily scape any foster house or orphanage she disliked, natural runaway skills were something that came in handy being a kid in the system and she took advantage of it, more often than she was willing to admit.

Regina's desire to go look for Emma grew proportionally to Emma's incapacity to stay still in one place, and reached exponential peeks when the only reflection she could catch of the blonde, came from the specially reflective surface on the buildings windows or a distorted image on a convex mirror of a cheap store, where she would watch her hiding food under her jacket, out of utter starvation. Regina knew when the girl was in a homeless runaway because of the gray color of her skin and the deep black bags under her eyes, she would watch her steal, scape from police, starve and freeze to death or even get involved with people that were only good at pushing her more over the edge of the enormous bad decisions swimmig pool Emma constantly desired to jump in, but in the end she just ended up hating herself more and more for remaining right there just sitting and watching, in the security of her utterly dull office, living her utterly dull life, while Emma was out there with who knows what kind of person, doing who knows what kind of things, in who knows what kind of place.

...

Regina sat up in bed when the sun seeped through the window, she hadn't slept at all that night, she honestly didn't remember when was the last time she had had even a few hours of restful sleep, she just got in bed every night at the same hour, the magic mirror resting by her side and her glance fixed on it as if her life depended on it, she then would get up at sunrise, as if the sun was the switch that started the engines of her life every day, her eyes never left the mirror surface for more than two consecutive seconds, while she moved around the house towards her study, attracted to the whiskey bottles like a metallic object would be to a magnet.

"Show me Emma," she talked to the mirror in her hand, while she poured her first glass of the day, "I said, s-h-o-w m-e E-m-m-a," she repeated downing the glass of amber liquid at once.

Her own reflection stared back at her in response and she angrily attempted to break the magic mirror, but she couldn't do it, this one being one of the two remaining ones she had, she had outburst break the rest of them and the only other one she possessed was outstandingly big and was back at her vault.

"Where are you Emma?" she whimpered putting the mirror on her desk and letting herself fall to the floor, few seconds later she retrieved the mirror, not really able to let go of it for more time.

Her gaze fixated on its surface while her brain traveled back to the last time she saw Emma. The blonde had met a dirty douchebag named Neal, she knew that because that was the first time she heard her talking in front of a mirror in years, apparently Emma tried to steal the car he had already stolen. She watched and heard atonished by how different the girl had grown from what she remembered of when they had met, she saw her stick together with that guy and grow love for him, she spied on her life from the rear view mirror of their stolen car. Finally hearing Emma's voice was like a little breeze in the desert that was her life, her own little not fulfilling oasis and she had had to say goodbye to it in the backseat of a patrol car.

It had been two months since that happened and Regina had moved heaven and hell to find her whereabouts, paying almost daily visits to Mr. Gold only to came back home empty handed, her visits to his shop were basically an endless loop, same conversation, same useless answers, he would occasionally change a bit of the conversation though, making her suspicious of whether he was as oblivious to the curse as he seemed to be or not, however she was far from giving up on her only decent resource of information. So she dressed up quickly, drank another full glass of whiskey and left the house.

"Good Morning mayor Mills, to what do I owe the honor of your visit?" Rumplestilskin greeted her when the bell sounded announcing her arrival.

"Save it Gold, I need you to find Emma and make it be yesterday," Regina rolled her eyes placing her mirror on the counter as she demanded her desires to the man, she was no one to be patient, her eyes flew from his to the mirror for a second.

Carrying around the mirror and constantly looking at it was now an habit and she honestly couldn't care less about what anyone would say of her new 'narcissistic' habit, they would forget about it anyways.

"So, eager, so worried, so, so impatient," the man giggled, pleased by her impatience, "what is it about this E-m-m-a girl that you are so impatiently trying to find her," the man asked leaning closer to the brunette while his finger traced circles on the black frame of Regina's treasured mirror.

"That is none of your business," she spit out pulling the mirror out of his reach.

"And yet here we are," he singsonged walking his way around the counter.

Regina followed him carefully with her gaze as he crept up on her, leaning on his cane with a huge smile, she could only compare his actions to a savage predator luring his prey into a trap. She stepped backward trying to put some distance between her current position and her former professor.

"I just need to know," Regina whispered defeated, earning another pleased grin from the man.

"And I would be happy to comply dearie," he said inching closer, "but I'm gonna need a name."

"I already—" she started but her word were interrupted by Gold's finger.

"What you gave me is useless!" The man stated furiously, his eyes shifting into two dangerous black holes and Regina suddenly felt like she was back in the enchanted forest and she was nothing but a terrified teenager apprentice, "tell me you are not stupid enough to think, that you can come here with nothing but that tiny four letter little name and I will 'Magically' find her out there in the world," he hissed a bit too close to her face and she quivered in her place, "I need her last name," he finished going back to his non threatening pose.

"I don't know her last name, as far as I know she doesn't have one!" She answered angrily and Gold rolled his eyes in response, the same way he used to do when he was teaching her in the past and she would say she could not do certain magic, because she did not think she had it in her.

"You don't? That's shame madame mayor, maybe you'll have more luck tomorrow, if you drop the bottle for a minute and put that little 'bird' brain of yours to good use," Gold's lips formed a twisted smile when he pronounced that peculiar word and Regina knew he was somehow awake or at least knew more than he was supposed to but she decided to ignore it.

"Swan," she whispered.

"Excuse me, what was that?" He asked pretending he didn't hear her.

"Try out Swan," she repeated calmly and decided she was going to deal with Rumplestiltskin after he found her Emma, "Emma Swan."

AN/: Sorry I'm late... Hahahha really really late I know, I don't know what's wrong with me but I have so many ideas and when it comes to write them sometimes it takes me so long to just put what's on my mind into paper, like really, you don't have an idea of how many times i opened this chapter, read it and tried to finish it but couldn't. It's finally here tho and I hope you like it. Also guys please go and check my new fanfic Covert Affairs, I'm really exited about it and it's basically writing itself so I'll be updating that one pretty often, it's Swan Queen but also has a bit of everything actually or at least will have, if you are Dragon Queen fans you'll enjoy it and it's inspired on Swingtown and I'm pretty sure most of you Evil Regals have watched it and enjoyed the hell out of that series, as I did.


	7. Locked up

**Chapter 7: locked up.**

"I found her," Rumplestiltskin let out as soon as she walked through his shop door for the second time that day.

"And well?" She arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest waiting for an answer that never came, "where is she?" She asked growing impatient after a long silent minute.

"Arizona," was his only answer, his hand caressing a folder with files like it kept the secret that could destroy a nation inside.

"Arizona is a little vague, don't you think?" She rolled her eyes knowing he was craving for a deal of some sort, "what do you want?" She asked reluctantly, sure that she would probably regret asking that question as soon as he gave her an answer.

"Let's see, what do I want in return for this invaluable information?" he started drumming his fingers over the folder on the counter and Regina clicked her tongue in response, "patience is a virtue dearie."

"Yeah, one I do not possess," she said slamming her hand over the counter beside his drumming hand, "I don't have all eternity Gold, say what you want already."

"Alright alright dearie, since you are so eager, it will be something you have at hand," he said giving her a twisted smile.

Regina looked down at her hands, one she had just slammed over the counter, the other held her magic mirror tightly as if her life depended on it.

"Not this," she said pulling the object back as far from the man as it was physically possible.

"Well it's either that or this," the man trailed out and his hand cut the distance separating them with supernatural speed, he gripped her neck menacingly for a second and then his hand slipped down to her cleavage where a little silver locket hung of its chain. It was a perfect copy of the one she gave Emma all those years ago except this had a honeycrisp tree carved instead of a swan.

Regina's hand held on the locket as soon as he let go of it and stepped back from the counter after she dropped her magic mirror over its surface. That mirror was probably the only way she had to watch Emma, but the locket was a direct connection to Emma's and even though the girl hadn't opened hers in years, that magic connection was something she could not let go of that easily.

"Your information better be good," she hissed.

"Firsthand," he smiled smugly at her as he moved the mirror out of her reach and handed her the folder with the files he had on the young girl Regina was so invested to find.

...

Her ride to Phoenix was horrible, it was the very first time she took a flight on a plane since she arrived to this land and honestly the whole trip she wished she had brought one of her sleeping curse apples with her.

The vehicle was a deathly trap in the full sense of the word. Since the moment the doors closed she felt like she was trapped in a giant coffin of wings, the air was reduced and she found difficult to even breathe, the stewardess noticed this and handed her a ridiculously small bottle of gin, like that would be of any help. Regina looked at the blonde wok contemptuously and downed the bottle in one sip.

"I'm not supposed to give you too much of this, but you really seem to need it," the woman said and handed other two bottles to her discretely.

"Thank you," the brunette answered sincerely and the blonde continued her way pushing the drinks trolley.

She had never felt so glad to arrive to her destination in her entire life, including the numerous day long horse rides she made in the enchanted forest and the whirling smoke cloud she came through to this land, everything was better and had been more pleasant than this awful flying invention.

"Take me to this place," the brunette told the driver of the taxi she took at the airport, handing him a paper with the address of the minimum security prison Emma was locked up in. The man looked at her with and arched eyebrow but said nothing and started the car engine.

The taxi driver was silent for the entire ride and for that she was really grateful, he would occasionally cast a glance at her through the rear-view mirror, but it was probably because she was sitting in the backseat downing a bottle of vodka like she was in the dessert and this was the first bottle of water she saw in weeks.

"Wait for me here, I'll pay you the day," she said stumbling out of the car.

"Yes ma'am," was the driver's answer.

She slammed the door thinking how hideous it was that the tiniest things would always remind her of Emma, like the way she used to call her ma'am all the time when they had just met.

...

"Yes, Miss—, I'm sorry I forgot, what was your name again?" The woman behind the reception glass asked with a dull tone.

"Mills, Regina Mills" she answered rolling her eyes.

"Well miss Mills, as I already explained to you, you have to be in the inmate's visitation list in order to talk to her, she currently doesn't allow any visitors," the officer said checking on the empty list for the fifth time in the two minutes she had been standing there, "maybe you should wait till she communicates with you and tell her to put you in her list," she adviced the brunette pulling up a smile as a way to show she cared a bit for the situation, but something in the way she drummed her fingers monotonously over her desk, made Regina think it was quite the other way.

"You think that if I had communication with her I would have traveled two thousand eight hundred and eighty miles just to talk to her?" The brunette asked angrily.

 _ **Definitely yes**_ **.** She replied to herself.

"No miss, unfortunately there is not much I can do, I can just offer you, to give her a message if you are kind enough to write a note for her," the woman said and handed her a notepad and a pen.

 _ **Great, what was she supposed to write down in that note? ... Hello there little Swan, remember that woman that once appeared in your mirror? Yeah the one you now think is a product of your childhood's lonely imagination... Well she wants to see you, so write her name on your visitation list, because apparently your imagination is not strong enough to avoid the prison regulations for your old imaginary friend... Lots of love Regina Mills the woman you hate most in your entire life.**_

 _Emma, I know you probably won't want to see me when I tell you who I am, but I really need to talk with you. I don't know how to love very well, little Swan, but just remember, I love you, I always have and I always will. -Regina Mills._

"Please give her this and tell her I'm really sorry," Regina said giving the notepad to the woman.

"I will, one more thing Miss, you need to fill up this form," the officer behind the glass told her handing her a two pages form.

"What's this?"

"It's the visitation application, your application will be examined and put in list for approval on the next thirty days or so.

"Excuse me? How's that a second ago I just needed Emma to have me on her visitation list and now I need to wait thirty days or so... to get approval on an application I just found out about?"

"Miss, I don't know how does it work where you come from, but here in Phoenix this are the mandatory regulations."

"Well, things work quite efficiently in my town, since I'm the Mayor thank you very much," the brunette said rolling her eyes blank as she started to fill up the form.

...

"Find me a good hotel," Regina told the taxi driver when she got in again.

"Any particular requests?" He asked with a smile.

"A good 24/7 bar," she said returning to her almost empty bottle of vodka.

"Right away ma'am," he said turning around to start the car.

"Don't call me that, my name is Regina Mills, you can address me by my name or anything but ma'am, understood?"

"Yes miss," he answered not wanting to argue with her.

"Thank you," she whispered searching for her phone in her purse, "Gold.?... I need a favor... I think my last payment was more than enough... Alright dearie—, I'll owe you one... Yeah yeah just rush the approval of my application to Emma's visitations... Yeah there is no way I'm waiting thirty days or more... Call when you have news on that," she finished hanging up.

"Little advice," the taxi driver started, "never tell anyone you owe them one, you never know what they are going to ask or what kind of psychopaths they are," he finished.

"You have no idea Ryan," she said giving his taxi driver badge a quick glance.

"Here we are Miss Mills," the man said after a while parking the car in front of an enormous building with huge pillars on the entrance, "great hotel, 24/7 bar service and designated taxi driver," he winked at her handing her his business card.

"Thank you," she said paying a lot more than it was needed for his day of services, even when it was barely past noon.

...

Life was a whirling wheel of shit.

Emma sat over the shitty mattress of her prison cell, she held the positive pregnancy test over her lap and her eyes were lost in the wall in front of her.

She couldn't remember if she ever had even the slightest desire of becoming a parent, family was a concept she couldn't even understand, how was she supposed to become a mother if she never even had one.

"Swan you've got mail, know anyone in Puckett?" an officer snapped her out of her thoughts getting in her cell while reading the envelope in her hand, "I gotta open this in front of you, those are the rules, Hm car keys, hope you have the car it goes with," the woman said, getting the keys out of the envelope, she recognized the keys immediately, her swan silver locket hung open from the keychain, she felt the urge to go there and close it, the mirrors inside of it reflected the sunlight seeping through the tiny prison cell window and casted a whirling beam of light around the room, "nothing else, no letter, sorry, but good news you get a car when you get out... and a baby, congratulations," the officer added, her voice was inked with sadness as she gave a glance at the pregnancy test in the blonde's hand.

Emma's glance went back to the wall in front of her bed.

"Almost forgot—, a woman left this for you this morning at the reception, she asked me to tell you she is really sorry," the woman told her handing her a note she was carrying in her uniform shirt pocket.

Emma read the note slowly, when she was finished she put it down on her mattress and remained silent.

"Well?"

"What?"

"Shall I write her name down on your visitation list?"

"What's the harm?" Emma shrugged, "it's not like she's gonna show up anyways, I only know one Regina and she is not even real, she was my imaginary friend when I was five years old and as far as I know, she took her imaginary fancy car and headed to her imaginary boring life and probably died in the process, because I couldn't see her again, couldn't even keep an imaginary mom, what does that say about me?"

"She seemed very real to me Swan," the officer said leaving the cell and Emma just shrugged again.

...

Her hotel room looked comfortable enough, but she really wouldn't care if it didn't. She started unpacking as soon as the bellhop handed her the key and left, the few outfits she brought in her bag barely filled a quarter of the average sized closet.

She sighed wondering how much time she would have to wait to finally see Emma again, supposing the blonde accepted her visit, which she honestly doubted, she would probably need to pay daily visits to the facility and send her daily notes until the blonde got tired of that and dared to talk to her.

"My little swan," she whispered lost in her thoughts, trying to imagine what would it be like to talk to Emma again, she couldn't.

Her hand traveled to the silver locket that hung from her neck and at the same moment she touched it a voice came blaring from it. She opened it as soon as it was humanly possible and observed the whirling room in the little mirror's reflection.

"I gotta open this in front of you, those are the rules, Hm car keys, hope you have the car it goes with," a woman said and she recognized her dull voice as the woman's from the reception desk at the prison earlier that day.

The locket in the officer hands wouldn't stop whirling and it made it almost impossible for her to get a good glance at the blonde girl in the other side of the mirror.

"Nothing else, no letter, sorry, but good news you get a car when you get out..." The officer continued and Regina started growing impatient, _**what about my note?**_ She wondered if the note had been just the officer's way to stop her complaints and would not even be delivered to the blonde, what the officer said after just stopped her rambling thoughts completely, "...and a baby, congratulations."

 _ **A baby?**_

Just then the mirror stopped whirling around and she saw Emma sitting in a little bed holding something in her hands.

"Almost forgot—, a woman left this for you this morning at the reception, she asked me to tell you she is really sorry," the woman added after she started making her way out of the cell.

Regina sighed knowing at least Emma would read her note, but she honestly couldn't stop thinking of what she had just learned. Emma, her little Swan was pregnant.

"Well?" The officer asked after Emma finished reading the note and said nothing.

"What?"

"Shall I write her name down on your visitation list?"

 _ **Please Emma I need to see you now more than ever.**_ Regina pleaded internally, holding her breath as she waited for the blonde to answer.

"What's the harm?" Emma sounded defeated, "it's not like she's gonna show up anyways, I only know one Regina and she is not even real, she was my imaginary friend when I was five years old and as far as I know, she took her imaginary fancy car and headed to her imaginary boring life and probably died in the process, because I couldn't see her again," her voice was monotonous and it broke Regina's heart slowly, "couldn't even keep an imaginary mom, what does that say about me?" Emma's eyes fixed on the silver locket in the officer's hand for a second before the woman put it back in the envelope and the brunette could swear the girl saw right through the mirror and into her soul, for that tiny moment.

"She seemed very real to me Swan," was the last thing she could hear before the woman closed the envelope and cut the magic connection between her locket and Emma's, since hers was no longer within her reach.

AN/: I know I said I was updating like a week ago, but I've been busy at work and it's draining all my creativity and the last bit of this chapter was so difficult to write for no reason at all.


	8. Unlikely truth

**Chapter 8: unlikely truth.**

Regina felt that she had been hours just standing there looking at her silver locket, waiting for something to happen, knowing the connection was dead and would probably remain that way for the rest of Emma's time in prison.

She finally let go of it and she couldn't bare another second standing there within the four walls of that room, she felt them closing on her, depriving her of the little oxygen she managed to bring into her lungs. She was forced out of the asphyxiating room and rushed down the hallway and towards the staircase as fast as she could make it.

Before she knew it, she found herself made a mess sitting on a bar stool, trying to deep breathe and stop crying.

"Jeez woman you look like you can use some booze, I'm Roni what can I getcha?"

Regina looked up at the bartender and her nose automatically crinkled at the sight of her possitive vibe, tight denim jeans and rock band t-shirt.

"I don't suppose you have any apple cider hidden under that counter by any chance?"

"Sorry," the woman shook her head , "I can offer you gin, scotch, rum, tequila,vodka, basically anything you want but that.

"Then give me two full cups of forgiveness and a bottle of guilt eradicator," Regina deadpanned and Roni just looked at her like she was being dramatic, "what? You said anything I want but apple cider, well, that's all I want!" she stated burying her face in her hands.

"So, it's one of those days," Roni commented pouring a shot of each one of the drinks she mentioned

before, to then place them in a line in front of the other brunette.

"It's one of those decades actually," She replied and to that the bartender whistled low," wasn't it easier to wait and see what drink I was ordering instead of pouring them all? Wait, is this the way you try to kill me?"

"Come again, why would I try to kill you woman?"

"I don't know," Regina shrugged, "do you have a hero complex and a secret deep hatred for fairytale evil witches?"

"Are you one of those? Because if that's the case I'm afraid I have to tell you, that this is totally me trying to kill you," Roni made her best impersonation of a psychopath for a brief second, "or maybe I'm just trying to get you drunk in order to get into your fancy pants," she winked at the brunette and casted a quick glance over the counter top to check out Regina, almost as if she was pondering if it was worth the effort.

"You really don't know who you are talking with, there's no way a girl like you can handle as you so neatly put it 'getting into my fancy pants' dear," Regina faked a smile trying to hide the offense taken on the bartender action.

"Please, you are wearin' a pantsuit and you ordered apple cyder in a hotel bar, you surely are one of those women who sees sex handcuffs and runs away."

"Well, of course I am!" Regina started and Roni gave her a cocky smile, "what's the point of using handcuffs if the plush will prevent those delicious red wrists marks from forming?" She added and the bartender licked her lips unconsciously.

"Fair point," Roni said pushing the shots on the bar near the brunette since she hadn't drink any and finally Regina lifted the first cup in line, " let me tell you something, I happen to have a pair of actual cop handcuffs at my place if you are interested," Roni wiggled her eyebrows at her and then marched to the other side of the counter to greet an incoming couple.

Regina downed shot after shot as she watched the other brunette go, her tight jeans hugged her curves perfectly and Regina found herself actually contemplating the possibility of accepting the carefree bartender's offer. It had been a while since she spoke with someone which deepest instinct wasn't run away at the sight of her face or the sound of her name. It had been even longer time since she last used a decent pair of shackles on someone, specially a woman, specially a woman who wanted her to use them.

Roni mixed the couple's drinks in a cocktail shaker feeling the brunette's gaze fixed on her back. Maybe and only maybe if she played her cards right she could actually take that gorgeous woman to her apartment with her that night. She poured the drinks in a pair of cups she previously decorated with blue sugar and the couple walked out of the bar with them, she then turned around on her heels being left alone in the bar with the brunette again.

"You missed one," she pointed out when she saw Regina had finished all the drinks but one.

"Let me tell you something dear, rum is for pirates and thieves, I'm a queen and a bit more refined," she replied pushing the shot back near the bartender.

"Well your majesty, I sure hope you are in mood to mingle with the rabble, coz I sure don't descend from royalty," with that the carefree bartender slammed down the rejected shot, thinking it rather looked forsaken and lonely there on the counter top beside the other empty shot glasses, she immediately winced at the awful flavor of rum and regretted trying to play the pirate part in whatever kinky roll play the woman at her bar tried to start.

"So much for the rabble," Regina laughed.

"Well I guess my pirate soul is wearing off in this century so full of yachts, cruises and mojitos," Roni shrugged leaning over the counter top to invade Regina's personal space, "my shift is almost over, how would you like to keep this party at my place ma'am?" Regina automatically flinched at that word and Roni understood she had screwed this opportunity up when the woman leaned back to put some distance between them.

"How would you like to personally deliver two bottles of tequila to my room?" Regina asked with a lopsided grin, completely fooling the now smiley Brunette for a brief second, "the name is Regina Mills not ma'am or anything else that little brain of yours comes up with, the room is 409 and I want my booze delivered before your shift ends so I can keep the party on my own, thank you very much," with that the bartender smile faded completely and Regina left the bar towards her hotel room.

...

The sun seeped through the blinds lightening up the room completely and she woke up cursing herself for not lowering the damn thing down the previous night, the sharp headache she had let her know just how much tequila she had last night, she remembered the hotel bartender at her door with the bottles of tequila, she also remembered pulling the same bartender into the room and throwing her self over her like she was exactly what she had ordered for dinner, the woman ended up cornered against the wall and her only reaction was to hold onto the booze and let her have her lips as meal and then nothing.

She sat up straight as if someone had punched her on the gut and looked around the room, she found no one there within sight at least, she then checked under the covers and she was still wearing her pantsuit, whatever happened at least she keep her dignity, but did she? She couldn't really remember.

Just as she was taking a deep breath trying to calm down on her bed and endure the crushing headache she had, her cellphone ringed and her ears started throbbing loud at the sound.

"Who's this?" She answered, "Gold... any news?" She asked harshly trying to make the call as short as it could possibly be, "yeah whatever you want," she rolled her eyes and grunted in response, " okay I'll be there in half an hour," she ended the call without another word and jumped out of bed towards the bathroom.

She didn't notice the purple lipstick message on the full body mirror beside the wardrobe until she was half dressed.

 _Miss Regina Mills, successfully delivered your booze in your room before my shift ended, I know you will enjoy the party on your own since you were half way there when I left, I sure enjoyed your tip, will come back later for more, XOXO Roni._

Regina didn't know why but that message sent a frustrating wave of heat between her legs, she ignored it, certain that she would have to discuss what happened the previous night with that bartender, but right now Emma waited and she really didn't want to miss any second she could be expending with her little Swan, with that infuriatingly carefree bartender.

...

Emma's breathing stopped when the speakers called her name urging her to step by the visitors room, the last visitor she had was her useless office lawyer more than two months ago, when he came to let her know she was going to spend the next eleven months in prison. She then suddenly remembered the note that was handed to her the day before by the officer in her cell and her heart skipped a beat, but then she snapped herself out of it, even if Regina Mills actually existed and even if for some random turn of the destiny she had decided to appear again, she wouldn't be visiting for more than a month, since that kind of paperwork was always delayed by some lazy ass secretary or even the warden himself. She knew it wasn't going to be Neal either, she had lost hope on that happening since the moment the police car drove off away of their yellow bug.

She couldn't discern who could possibly be the mysterious visitor so she just walked in the room with no expectations at all. She froze when she looked around the room and found a breathtakingly beautiful brunette sitting in one of the tables looking right back at her, the brunette uncrossed her legs and then crossed them again nervously waiting for Emma to do something instead of blankly staring at her from the door step, begging internally that when the blonde finally reacted she wouldn't run away. Emma gulped as she forced herself to walk towards the table the brunette occupied, somehow still thinking it was all product of her imagination, the woman didn't seem to have aged one day since the last time she saw her, Emma blinked rapidly taking her time between each step she gave to approach the Brunette, just waiting for when the woman would vanish right in front of her eyes. Except it was taking longer than she expected and with each step she took shortening the distance between the two of them, the lump in her throat grew bigger making it more difficult to breathe every second that passed.

By the time Emma reached the table her eyes were watery and she couldn't quite find her voice.

"You are really here," was all she could let out before her eyes gave in and the tears fell freely down her cheeks.

"Oh Emma," Regina softly whispered getting quick to her feet to embrace Emma tightly, the blonde gave into the hug burying her face in Regina's neck for the little moment it took the guard to believe it had been too long for a greeting hug.

"That's enough inmate," the chubby guy squealed and Emma had to push the brunette away.

"That's all we get after all this years," Emma hoarsely said.

"And the one at the end," Regina added matter-of-factly making Emma grin a little.

Both of them sat in silence after that, not knowing where to start.

"What happened?" They both asked at the same time.

"I— I panicked," Regina started trying to find something else to say, any other valid argument for what she did, but she came up empty handed, there was no way she explained the real reason she left, Snow White, Prince Charming, the Evil Queen? Maybe her little Swan would have believed the whole truth once, but that was several years ago when she hadn't managed to crush her heart, damaging it like everything else she had ever lay a hand on.

"You panicked," Emma repeated, "excuse me, you panicked?" She asked banging the table with her hands, which earned her a warning from the chubby guard, "all this years and that's the best you could come up with? And I was fool enough to think that if you had taken the trouble to find me, at least you would have made up a decent lie, to explain why in life would you even give false hopes of a real family and a decent life to a six year old!" The blonde stood up from her chair, "you know what? It doesn't even matter, you know how I know that? Because you are not even here, you are not real!"

The whole room went silent and everyone was looking at them now.

"Dude she's sittin' rite there!" an inmate snapped at her, "now if you excuse me I'm trynna talk with my very real family too!" Emma recognized that inmate as one of the people working at the cafeteria.

"Little Swan," Regina started ignoring the other woman's words, in an effort to stop Emma from leaving.

"I don't know if you noticed... but I'm little no more!" She spit out and stormed out of the visitation room.


	9. Depression

**CHalter 9: Depression.**

According to Ryan, her designated taxi driver, she had a serious case of depression, which apparently meant she was either drinking or crying most of the time, that of course was completely accurate. He wasn't trying to be judgmental but she certainly felt judged, she had met the guy the day before and he was already making his mind about her and apparently she was now the depressive lady on the back seat. However now that he made the observation and she actually thought about it, she had been in the same state of mind most of her adulthood, drinking, crying, felt like the only things she was good at doing in a regular basis, apart form making people's life miserable, maybe she was indeed depressed, after all about ninety nine percent of the time she had spent in that taxi, it was either crying her eyes out or sucking the life out of a bottle of vodka.

Depression, according to Ryan, was either treated by a shrink, who would suck the wealthiness out of your bank account or by a simple four steps treatment he would disclose to her for free.

Regina wasn't going to jump willingly into some cricket's office couch, so she ended up accepting the free deal.

Step 1: Shopping.

As she went across the multiple shops in the Mall Ryan brought her to, she couldn't decide what she should buy, honestly she had never gone shopping before in her life. In the enchanted forest she had her dresses sewed at request and thanks to the magic of the curse she had no problems finding everything she needed in her enormous wardrobe at home, the closest thing she had ever done to go shopping, was bossing around people in Storybrooke to stock Emma's room with everything a Kid could possibly want.

She ended up buying everything she thought would help her accomplish the other three steps of Ryan's plan to defeat depression.

Step 2: Something called SPA.

Ryan said she could book an appointment in the SPA in the reception of her hotel, he said that was the perfect place for her to get some "real hot chick" to rub the sadness out of her body at a very affordable price. That honestly sounded like she was paying for lesbian intercourse if someone asked her, but she just remained silent in the moment, taking silent note of what she would do when she arrived to the hotel.

"I want to book an appointment with Roni in the SPA," she told the receptionist.

"Roni is the bartender Miss," the woman answered a little confused.

"I'm well aware of that, but I haven't met any of the SPA workers and I rather it be with someone I find appealing," she said like it was not a big deal, after all Roni was pretty much offering the same thing the night before for free, she probably wouldn't mind if she put a bill or two into the mix, "is there a problem with that?"

"No Miss, off course not," The woman looked even more confused, but she was now diligently scratching her notepad with her pen to write what she requested.

"Have her come to my room, I'm in no mood to visit your SPA facilities right now," she added, "what time is she free anyways?"

"Anytime you want," the woman replied looking at her like she was crazy, maybe it was a strange thing for women to ask for SPA appointments in this land and it was more of a male thing, Ryan forgot to tell her that. The attention was remarkable though, she would give the hotel that.

"I'll be waiting for her in one hour, thank you."

Step 3: Drinking.

Apparently drinking was also part of Ryan's solution, somehow she had been doing it wrong all this years, but now she had the perfect person to teach her how to do it right. Regina slammed the minibar's door closed when she found nothing more than ridiculously small bottles like the ones she drank in the plane coming to Phoenix.

She dialed the extension number, that according to the chart beside the phone, belonged to the telephone of the hotel's bar.

"Hello?" The woman in the other end of the telephone answered and she recognized the voice to be Roni's.

"Roni, this is Regina Mills, I assume they already let you know of my request, do you have a problem with that?"

"I'm hardly qualified, but if you insist I suppose I don't have one."

"Good, now I need you to bring something in your way here," she started.

"Let me guess, you are in serious need of more booze Miss Mills, am I right?" The silence in the other end, let her know she was right, "What should I getcha?"

"Let's say I was depressed, what would you bring to kill said depression?"

"I have exactly what you need for that 'hypothetical' depression, anything else?"

"I have everything else I need, thank you," she hung up before Roni could say another word.

Step 4: Something called a one night stand.

A one night stand as Ryan explained was hooking up with someone for one night of sex, usually in a bar or a club, with no strings attached and hoping to never see them again. So basically it was almost as when she used to mingle with her peasants, she wouldn't look twice to the same boy or girl, but they could always remember the night they were lucky enough to get into the Queen's chamber. However Roni was very different to the girls that were once her peasants and despite her clothes and her not particularly refined way of speaking, she wouldn't mind to see her more than once, after all Ryan didn't say anything against one night stands with the bartender.

...

Half an hour training on massage techniques was really close to no training at all, nevertheless she was still forced by the SPA manager to drag the incredibly pesky massage table all the way up to the fourth floor, some guests just stared at her as she walked with the massage table through the hallways, probably due to the fact that right now it looked more like the counter top of her bar down stairs, than the table she would have Regina Mills probably completely nude with only a little towel covering her butt in minutes.

Roni stopped for a second in front of the door wondering how should she announce her arrival, bartender? Masseuse? She had honestly not a single clue.

"Miss Mills, the appointment you requested at eight, arrived," she limited to say, knocking on the door softly to found the it unlocked. She let herself in, pushing the darn table, Regina was not around though, "excuse me Miss Mills I'm going to start settling things up, if it's okay with you," she said as she closed the door at her back.

"Go ahead," the woman answered from the bathroom, Roni could see Regina's face through the ajar of the bathroom's door, her perfect features reflected on a little space on the mirror surface she cleared out of steam with her hand, the woman looked right at her before she could divert her gaze and this almost made Roni drop one of the bottles she was moving off the massage table.

When she finally set the massage table up and every alcohol bottle and all the other fragile stuff were out of the way, she begged that Regina finished whatever was taking her so long in that bathroom already, because honestly the table, the rolled up towels and the little bottles of aromatic oil were making her hands sweat like she was melting right in the spot.

"What is that and what is it doing in my room?" Regina asked making her presence noticeable in the room while staring at the table.

"You booked and appointment in the SPA," Roni started lining up the bottles of oil again avoiding turning around to look at the woman as long as she could, afraid she would be completely naked in front of her, "so now take off your clothes, hop on the table and let me do my thing," Regina's eyebrow darted to her hairline at that and Roni just ignore her, pilling the towels up in a pyramid like it was the most important task she had done in her lifetime.

"What clothes?" Regina asked in a whisper and Roni's head automatically turned her way.

Damn.

Not only Regina wasn't wearing clothes, she was wearing lingerie instead, lace basque, thong, stockings and all. Roni's mouth went dry, suddenly she couldn't connect two words together to respond.

"Now dear, YOU take off you clothes, hop on the bed and let me do MY thing," she purred lurking around the bartender, like some hungry animal ready to devour its prey.


	10. Old ways

**Chapter 10: Old ways.**

It took Roni a fraction of second to realize she had no place to run, it took her even less than that to decide she didn't want to. As Regina inched closer with her almost animalistic walk, watching her closely with her attentive pitch black dangerous eyes, a thrilling feeling settled down in her stomach, it felt like she was about to do something absolutely stupid, like jumping out of a plain without a parachute or diving in piranha infested waters. The thrill of the fall. She knew this was most likely a really bad idea, so she could not do anything different than to jump head first into the void.

Her clothes fell one after the other consecutively on the floor, while her eyes followed the other woman around the room. Regina kept creeping around her like some hungry predator waiting for the opportunity to jump and this made the enticing feeling growing in her stomach intensify.

"Lay down," Regina let out, her voice low and rough as she compelled the other brunette to comply with a forceful push of her hand.

Roni had yet to finish with her clothes, but this didn't seem to bother Regina in the least, even when she had been clear about her desire of them to be gone.

The mattress bounced under their weight, now that Regina was crawling up her half naked body in the most seductive way. The basque hugging her breasts and ribcage nearly in a sinful manner, urging Roni to reach out to the woman now straddling her and touch it. She barely ghostly brushed her fingers over the lace garment before the woman slapped her hands away and pinned them to the mattress over her head.

"I really hope you weren't bluffing about the cuffs the other day," Regina let out in a silky tone as she reached forward behind Roni's head. Trapped between the headboard and the mattress rested a pair of thick old fashioned shackles, Roni's eyes went wide when she spotted them, "I bet you now wish you had not complained about the plush ones," she smirked at the now shaking woman and waited for her to say something to discard the shackles and use the plush ones she had also bought, instead.

"What are you waiting for your majesty?" Roni breathed hoarsely in anticipation and Regina's eyebrow reached her scalp, surprised by her disposition.

She was sure that Roni calling her majesty, was nothing else but a role play based on their conversation the previous day, but she couldn't deny how good it felt being called that again, her title reverberated in her brain as she caught a fistful of Roni's t-shirt and pulled her closer for a hungry frenetic kiss, she let go of her grasp and Roni fell heavily back on the mattress again. She lost no time then and in seconds she had the brunette chained to the bed.

Roni wasn't sure what was going to happen next, but the uncertainty of the situation was what excited her the most, she was still wearing her t-shirt and underwear and when Regina straightened her back to evaluate her work with the shackles, she decided she wouldn't bear them anymore, the hideous clothes had to go, she pulled the t-shirt up forcing Roni to arch her back in the process.

"Hold this for me will you?" She said tying the front of the t-shirt into a big knot when it was half way over Roni's mouth, the brunette haltingly accepted the bundle of fabric in her mouth, the tied garment wrapped tightly around her upper arms and head making the perfect gag, that of course, if she didn't opened her mouth, " if you hold on to it, I might reward you," Regina offered and Roni nodded.

The fabric of the t-shirt pulled her arms together and the shackles pulled her wrists the exact opposite way, she could feel the tension of both pulls in her mouth and yet she held onto the fabric now getting soaked with her saliva.

Regina didn't even give her time to settle down in her uncomfortable position, before she moved to the next little torture, she had decided to wear a sport bra that morning and the brunette had no qualms about pulling it down until her breasts popped out above it, it was really tight and not very stretchy, which gave Regina quite the view, but added some points to her still bearable disconfort.

Regina leaned forward, catching one of her aroused nipples in her mouth and her discomfort rapidly became pleasure, she had never been one for submissiveness, but there was something about Regina fierce look that told her it could not be the other way around.

Regina soon grew bored of her own sucking and licking game and jumped from her breast to the rest of her body, Roni enjoyed the teasing and the cold sensation of Regina's breath against the wet paths she traced with her tongue over her skin, her body quivering in response to the tortuously slow thrust of Regina's hips against her own. The only vision of Regina Mills slowly dancing over her hips and not being able to touch her incredibly sexy body was enough torture by itself and then there was the woman's wetness visibly moisturizing her almost transparent underwear and the way she moaned lowly, humming at the rhythm of her humping torture.

Suddenly the slow torture turned into frenetic rampage of sensations she was not fast enough to fully register. Regina tore Roni's last piece of underwear apart with almost inhuman ease and before the bartender grabbed a grasp of what was happening, Regina was wrist deep in the depths of her tight core. Pumping in and thrusting out so fast that her back arched off the bed and her hips untrolably jostled forward craving for more. The brunette touched her exactly where she needed and how she wanted, pushing her buttons like and expert, like her mind was completely in sync with her heavy panting and the sound of her muffled grunting.

She feel the heat growing inside her, the euphoria of the approaching climax, her entire body quivering and her grunting turning into dull screams against the now completely soaked fabric in her mouth.

"I think is time for you to—," Regina started and Roni nodded just glad that the woman wasn't going to make her beg for the very needed release, "—show me that miraculous remedy of yours for hypothetical depression," her words left her mouth like silk and their meaning was left floating in Roni's clouded mind for as long as it took Regina to pull her skillful fingers out of her clenching insides and jump out of bed.

Frustrated was an understatement for how she was feeling as she watched Regina lace wrapped sculptural body, walk away towards the counter she had placed all the booze on, minutes ago. She let her head fall back over her pillow and let out a painful groan into the gag. Still with her eyes tightly shut she could practically see the smirk decorating Regina's face as she heard her stilettos clicking against the tile floor on her way back to bed.

"Loose the gag now dear, you can't quite explain me what to do, with that in your mouth, can you?" Regina's voice was so calm it actually made her feel more frustrated if that was possible, she puffed releasing her teeth's tight grasp on the t-shirt and the knot popped out of her mouth, she grunted again and refused to look at the brunette.

"Sprinkle salt on wet skin, lick, take shot of tequila, suck lime," The woman answered eyes still shut and the silent room echoed with the sound of shackles as she tried to cross her arms over her chest defensively, forgetting they were there in the first place. She grunted again frustrated and waited for Regina's scold on her not very specific explanation but it never came.

Everything went silent again as Regina crawled back in bed, the only sound was Roni's heavy panting, the clicking of the bottle of tequila against the glass and the container with the lime slices popping open. Roni refused to open her eyes, she couldn't care less if Regina was or was not doing a good job with her drinking lesson. She heard the salt shaker sound and felt some crystals fall somewhere between her thighs, probably the missing crystals that didn't hit Regina's licked hand, but then she felt Regina spread her legs far apart and lasciviously lick the spot between her thighs, her eyes went wide and her gaze rapidly connected with the brunette's cocky one. She hated her body for jostling forward in a desperate attempt to receive far more stimulation than it was getting from Regina's short lasting lick and she couldn't hold the whimper that left her lips when the woman sat up to drink the shot and suck on her lime. Regina kept on giving her the shortest stimulating licks for several shots on, wetness coating her thighs and folds inviting her to keep on sprinkling salt as she inched impossibly slowly closer to the exact place Roni wanted her to lick more. When she finally sprinkled the salt right above her clit, Roni swore she was going to explode out of that single touch of her tongue.

"If you cum I'm just gonna have to start cleaning you up again," Regina warned her as she leaned down between her legs, like she knew exactly what was on her head, by that moment Roni didn't even care about the consequences she just needed release and she was getting it one way or another, she wrapped her legs tight around Regina's head preventing her to sit up again, "you really want this huh?" She chuckled in her flesh cage, Roni nodded.

"Please?" Roni pleaded with a pout.

"Very well then," Regina whispered, "but I'm still having that drink," she said reaching the tray with her hand, Roni loosened her grip a little allowing Regina to do what she knew was on her mind, because that could give her her well deserved release at last.

The cold liquid slid down over her clit as Regina poured it slowly directly from the bottle, with every stream poured came a long stoke of her tongue licking her clean of tequila and taking her a step further into her growing long restrained orgasm, until she finally came undone with a tortured frustrated moan.

Regina licked her lips clean, the remains of tequila and Roni's juices dripped down her chin and she straightened her back to grab on last slice of lime and enjoy the trembling vision that was the woman laying in front of her.

"The SPA appointment if over," She kissed Roni taking of her shackles when she finally recovered from her orgasm, "off you go, dear," she said letting herself fall beside her on the bed.

"Are you fucking with me?"

"I thought it was obvious I was," Regina sassed, "now I'm finished, off you go, hurry now, I don't like repeating myself."

Just when she thought she was finally getting her sweet revenge on the brunette. Roni groaned in response, quickly dressed up, took her stuff, the stupid massaging table and left the room, without another word.

Apart from the annoying burning feel between her legs, she had to admit maybe Ryan was right, somehow his stupid step program made her realize that the only way she could face reality now was stepping back into her old ways, because they made her feel numb. Reality was Emma saw her now for what she was, a monster and maybe that monster was the only way she had, to accept that maybe there was no way she could gain her trust back, that she had ruinned her one last chance to be happy. She was also well aware that she wouldn't fall without at least a try.


	11. Belief

**Chapter 11: Belief.**

Emma held her hair with one hand as she quickly squatted over her cell toilet, in an effort to empty her stomach, like every other morning of the past two weeks, the back of her throat contracted and she mentally cursed herself when the only thing coming out of her mouth was the bitter taste of her liver bile, she hadn't eaten at all in the past twenty hours, to be precise she had not tasted a bite since the unfortunate visit, of her still undefined not so imaginary but very imaginary childhood friend. The gorgeous woman had been the only thing in her mind all day and night, she just kept trying to imagine the worse-case scenarios in which the woman may have possibly had an actual good reason to leave her in the past and yet she couldn't find one that in her opinion was good enough.

She sat in bed still feeling sick to her stomach, hoping today was a good day for her, but today was visitation day again and honestly she didn't know what scared her the most, that Regina would probably step by for another visit or the high possibility that she would not.

She lined up in the cafeteria and waited for the woman at the counter to fill her tray with the nasty crap they called food, her stomach growled in protest as she gobbled down the dough of powdered eggs laying on her plate, she washed it down with a surprisingly sweet orange juice and rapidly ate the bite of cornbread she had left. She didn't want to held hope high, but anyways she sat in the tv room waiting anxiously for when the speaker in the corner turned on to announce the first visits of the day.

"Emma Swan," the speaker blared first and she couldn't stop her heart from beating fast while she made her way rapidly to the visitation room.

"Emma," Regina smiled when she approached her table and Emma felt like that smile could wipe anything away, before Regina could register what was happening, the blonde leaped on her giving her a tight hug she gladly returned.

"Regina," Emma whispered flustered by her own actions when the guard made them separate, "you didn't leave," she added more to herself than to the brunette, before she let herself fall on the other end of the table.

"Of course not Emma, I won't leave again, unless you ask me to," she replied and something in Emma's eyes let her know she was internally battling to believe her words.

"I want you to explain," Emma let out and her features became dark, " I promise I'll listen to everything you have to say," she added and Regina bit her bottom lip pondering the possibility of telling Emma the truth and risking that she would probably not want to talk with her again.

"You won't believe me if I tell you," she said with sadness, knowing she couldn't lie anymore and sure that telling the truth wouldn't do any better in this situation.

"Try me," Emma answered with resolve.

"Do you remember the stories I used to tell you when you were little?"

"How do a bunch of fairytales relate to this?"

"You said you would listen," Regina reminded her and the blonde fell silent once again, "There was a time in the Enchanted Forest when the feared Evil Queen was about to get her craved revenge, she made her appearance in Snow White and Prince Charming's wedding and threatened them with a very powerful curse that would steal the happiness from everyone else to build her own, she wasn't ready to cast this curse, but when she found everything she needed she didn't hesitate to cast it and so the darkness flooded the entire kingdom and she was so close to get her long-awaited revenge. But she found out there was a flaw in her perfectly planned vengeance, Snow White was with child and this child was destined to be the Queen's undoing and so she marched down to the White Palace with the only purpose to end the life of the little creature whose only sin was being born in the wrong family, but she arrived late and Snow White and Prince Charming had already sent her away, to where they thought she would safe and the curse was enacted at last," Emma bit her tongue to don't let her thoughts out while Regina continued with her story, " But the Queen ended up trapped in her own curse, where time didn't pass and loneliness was the only reward she got, until one day something magical happened, her magic mirror show her a little girl and the Queen didn't feel lonely no more and when she thought it was finally her time to be happy, it all crumbled down to the grown for that little girl was no other than the one she condemned to loneliness on her own and she run away scared of the uncertainty of the future that would come if she gave herself to the love she felt for the little girl that was her downfall."

"I'm not a child anymore Regina, I don't believe in fairytales, I don't believe in Snow White, Prince Charming and above all things I do not believe in the Evil Queen!" Emma's tongue had now the taste blood from how hard she tried to stop herself from talking before the brunette finished and now that she finally could, her words where bitter and rough, because she couldn't believe how the brunette kept on playing with her, like she was still a little girl. But she wasn't, not anymore.

"You used to love the Evil Queen," Regina let out with a knot in her throat, she fought the tears now gathering in her eyes and reached out to hold Emma's hand over the table.

"Well, I was just a stupid little girl, that believed in magic mirrors and magic ladies coming out of them to rescue me. I think we can both say my judgement was a little messed up by then," she spit and her hand went into a fist under Regina's.

"No it wasn't and I regret every single day, that I wasn't strong enough to save you, believe me, I fought with who I was, constantly battling to change, for you, for us, but I was never good enough, I know you don't believe me and you have every single right to don't believe in magic or fairytales and above all thing you have the right to don't believe in me, but I'm telling you the truth even though I know it gives you another million reasons to hate me, because now you know, I ruined you, from the second you were born," Emma's eyes were two sharp knives digging in her soul, trying to find the tiniest trace of a lie in her words, but she couldn't.

"Why did you come back?" Emma asked lowly, her hand finally relaxing under the brunette's warm one.

"You disappeared," Regina let out and the blonde's face became a puzzle.

"What do you mean?"

"I watched you, all this time, I've been watching you your whole life, it was hard sometimes but then I saw you in that patrol car and you disappeared, no more reflective windows where I could watch you walk by, no convex mirrors in grocery stores, no more five minute check in the mirror of a motel room. Nothing. I feared the worse," she confessed and Emma frowned torn between her reason and the tiny bubble of hope growing in her heart that maybe against all logical explanation Regina was actually telling the truth, that the magic mirrors existed, fairytale characters were real and she had a place in this world a place where she actually belonged to. But fairytales are not true and hope is a curse she swore she wouldn't fall into anymore.

"I don't believe you," she shrugged.

"I know, but I will probe it to you," Regina said with determination, "remember this?" She asked pulling her silver locket from under her buttoned up shirt, "the other day I heard you and the guard talking in your cell, she pulled your car keys form the envelope and i saw you through your locket's mirror, if magic mirrors didn't exist how would I know, that you are pregnant Emma?"

"I don't know," The blonde shrugged again and a single tear slid down her cheek.

"I know it's rather impossible to believe, but I don't ask you to believe, I ask you to give me a chance to redeem my mistakes, even when I don't deserve one. I want to be there for you Emma, through it all, for you and for that baby that is coming, please let me," she pleaded and a tear also escaped her eyes.

"I don't even know if I'm going to keep it," she accepted and tears finally fell free down her face, she sounded so vulnerable and Regina only wanted to hold her tight in her arms, she knew she wasn't allowed to do that until the visitation was over, so she just squished her hand in her own, thankful that today's guard at least let them hold hands.

"It's okay, you'll figure this out, I'll help you, alright?"

"I can't do this again Regina, If you leave again I don't think—, I don't believe I'll have it in me to recover."

Emma's voice was a scared squeak and Regina blamed herself for being the cause of so much pain.

"I won't."

"I guess, we'll see about that."

Some minutes passed while the sat in silence, Regina tracing circles in the back of Emma's hand as she wiped the still coming tears, sobbing as her worst fear settled down in her heart, hope that she wouldn't be alone anymore.

"Tell me about Storybrooke will you?" Emma talked first.

"Oh well it's incredibly boring and I'm all alone," she said.

"Well but if this 'curse' of yours was real, one would say at least you would have some fun out of torturing my parents," alright maybe it was all just a big fat lie, however she always as a kid had hoped that the Evil Queen would be have her happy ending and now she wanted some details on this maybe not so perfect but still accomplished vengeance.

"Okay so Mary Margaret, that's Snow's name in Storybrooke, she's a preschool teacher who tries desperately to find love but fails in every attempt, probably because I have her one true love laying in a coma somewhere in the ICU.

"Are you kidding me?" Emma deadpanned when she finished.

"What?"

"The great revenge of the feared Evil Queen, is having Snow White clean buggers by day and hook up with strangers by night?" She whined disappointed, "I mean come on! At least the Dark Palace had its torture chambers."

"Oh shut up Swan!" Regina chuckled.

"No kidding, the woman abandoned her newborn child!" Emma complained, "I deserve a real compensation for all the years I spend in the system because of her.

"It was my fault to begin with Emma," Regina reminded her.

"Oh, so you threatened her kingdom with a curse, she didn't have to throw me out to the world alone, hoping that one day I would come back to kick your ass as punishment for your bad actions, like seriously how old was I when she decided I could survive alone in the world, at least one week?" Truth or not Emma knew one thing, she had never for one second liked Snow White.

"Probably a few minutes," Regina corrected.

"Exactly, now you have to do better, because I think I deserved better than that," Emma stated and sent a pouty gaze her way.

"I'm going to tell you something, one day when you get out of here, I'll let you decide what her future holds," the brunette offered.

"Come on, do I have to do all the work?" Emma whined again and Regina laughed.

AN/: Since I know all of you are very eager for more Swan Queen and in compensation for the past chapters that didn't have SQ at all, I thought I would give you this one sooner than I normally do, as you all know I'm updating this story more often now so I hope you are enjoying as much as I am. Now I know the Roni chapters were somehow unnecessary and even though I enjoy writing them I think I'm gonna take a big leap on the plot soon and concentrate on the story that matters, that is what we all came for, the Queen and her little Swan, that being said I'm sorry for the people that somehow got offended, mad or even sad bc of what I wrote, I really thought you guys were enjoying Roni, I'm sorry. Now for that friend that warned me this would happen (she knows who she is), I know you told me so.


	12. Delusional pregnancy

**Chapter 12: Delusional pregnancy.**

Regina's visits to the prison were constant now, every visitation day she would be there first thing in the morning and even though her relationship with the blonde had improved, when she looked at the blonde she could still find fear in her eyes that she would suddenly disappear.

They talked about everything in the visitations, from old tales of the enchanted forest to the boring life of her peasants in Storybrooke, Emma would even tell her about her life in the system, but there was a subject the blonde avoided like the plague, the baby, there was no possible method Regina could use to make the blonde discuss her decision about the baby, which to the date she still ignored completely.

However Regina was pleased that now, she could at least connect all the missing pieces she hadn't been able to made out of her "mirror creepy stalking", as the blonde called the brunette's magic mirror spying pastime, the blonde was not wrong about that name though, the brunette had indeed felt like a creep in countless occasions when she would catch the blonde doing things she certainly shouldn't be watching, but still watched somehow as a punishment or so she wanted to convince herself, many of those where in the rear mirror of Emma's car when she was in that unhealthy relationship with that guy named Neal and other few before that when the blonde was some years younger, experimenting her sexuality in whatever filthy gas station bathroom she found with her hookup of the moment. Emma of course didn't know this, nor did she imagine Regina could identify perfectly, about every sexual partner she had ever had, including that girl Regina didn't stand named Lily, who had been probably Emma's first when the blonde as if it was by magic ended up in that fancy looking living room at age sixteen. Emma could never know about this for the simple reason that not only Regina had watched it all, but also because even when she tried to deny it, she had in a weird way enjoyed watching it almost as much as she had hated it, she had always envied Emma's partners in the sickest way she could imagine, she wanted to be in their place, she wanted to be Emma's only source of pleasure and it killed her not being able to be. It was sick and perverted and she had made a deal with herself to make it remain a secret for as long as the blonde wanted to be in her life.

...

Even though Emma's decision was still unknown to her, Regina's hotel room now resembled more to a baby shop than it did to an actual bedroom, baby shopping had become her favorite activity to do in the past seven months, Ryan her taxi driver just looked at her like she was crazy every time she called him for a new ride to the baby store.

"I liked better when our rides ended up in a sexshop," he said one day.

"No kidding," Regina replied with irony.

"Everyone would look at me like I was the lucky guy with the sexy lady, now I'm the father of the delusional seven months pregnant sexy lady."

"Like you had any chance with me at all Ryan," Regina rolled her eyes and pushed her shopping cart through the clothing aisle, "now this is a perfect onesie," Regina squealed taking the little garment in her hands.

"Feed me, you peasants," Ryan read, "your imaginary baby is a prince or what?"

"He or she could very well be royalty," she glared at the man putting the onesie in the cart, "and the baby is not imaginary!"

After hours of shopping Regina went back to the hotel, she had been offered a storage for all the things she had been stacking in her bedroom all this months, but she didn't accepted because she just loved the idea of Emma's baby in the crib that was placed in front of her bed, or the million onesies she had in her wardrobe, dressing the baby's tiny body, she just enjoyed too much of this little fantasies, as to let them take all that away from her and into some filthy storage.

She headed to the bar when her phone started ringing, it was a collect call from Emma's prison.

"Emma what's wrong?" Emma hadn't called her even one single time, since she gave her her number and assured her she could call anytime she wanted, so she was sure something had happened if Emma was calling her.

"The baby is coming," Emma answered through greeted teeth, " Regina they'll have me here until my contractions are more often but I'm scared, please tell me you'll be there, they won't tell me what hospital they'll take me, but I need you," Emma pleaded and Regina's heart just melted.

"I'll be there baby girl, don't worry," she assured.

"Promise."

"I promise Emma, I'll be there," she said before she heard Emma's heavy panting and the grunting of her next contraction, the line died after that.

She run back to her room to pick up everything the baby could need, while having a rapid discussion with Mr. Gold over her phone. When Ryan picked her up in the entrance of the hotel, Gold was already calling her with the information she needed, plus the assurance that she would be allowed to be in the room with Emma, which was rare, if not impossible for prisoners and would cost her a high price when she went back to Storybrooke.

...

The pain was excruciating with every new contraction, the doctor's commands were lost in her foggy mind and the only thing that she could concentrate in was Regina's hand holding her own, the brunette tried to tell her what to do and how to breathe, but she honestly couldn't not make any sense out of anything she was saying, there was only pain, worrying faces and Regina's hand.

She didn't know exactly how she managed to bare the arduous labor but when it was finally over, a feel of relief flooded her chest instantly, although that new found comfort didn't last too long.

"It's a boy Emma," the doctor said holding the little bundle in his arms, "Emma?" He demanded a response she was not prepared to give, so she simply shook her head and looked away from him and away from Regina's also demanding eyes.

She could hear the mumbling voice of the nurse communicating her decision to the doctor, she also felt the exact moment realization hit Regina in her face, as she let go of her hand and asked the doctor with shaky voice, to let her at least hold him one last time.

The indescriptible feel of loss she felt after Regina retreated her warm hand from hers, was the nearly impossible to ignore pull that made her look to the brunette after fighting for some painful seconds to avoid it, but seeing Regina's look of amazement as she held the baby and hearing her making adorable cooing sounds as she rocked on her feet back and forth, was everything she needed to change her mind, Emma looked at the doctor, panic all over her face, afraid that it was to late to change her decision. She opened her mouth, ready to plead if needed.

"Emma, just so you know you can change your mind," the doctor told her as if he could read her mind and Regina finally lifted her hypnotized eyes from her baby, with her face full of expectation waiting for her answer and Emma just understood in that moment, that Regina was back in her life for good and would never abandon her again, unless she asked her to and she had as much resolve to let the brunette slip from her life again, as she had now to let them take her son away from her.

"Yes, please, I want to keep him," Emma breathed out, relieved that she didn't manage to ruin this one thing in her life.

"You do? Emma are we gonna keep him?" Regina asked her with the biggest smile she had seen upon her face.

"Yes I do and as long as you wanna be in our life, we are," Emma smiled back.

"Did you hear that little prince? You're coming home with me and mommy will come home to us soon enough," Regina talked softly to the baby.

"Can I hold him?" Emma asked and before she could even finish that phrase Regina was already placing the baby in her arms.

The nurse came in after some minutes to take the baby to the nursery, since Emma was going to be cuffed to the bed again and the prisoners were rarely allowed to have some time with their babies, she had been told about this, many times by her counselor and since she was resolved to give the baby up she didn't care that much at the moment, but now as the nurse took him from her arms she felt like they were ripping a piece of her heart apart.

"Do you have a name?" The woman asked her while placing a tiny hospital bracelet around his wrist.

"Henry Daniel," Emma replied.

"Emma?" Regina choked out, tears already threatening to fall from her eyes, "Are you naming him after my father?"

"And Daniel, yes, they were kind and fair and they always took well care of you, as I know you will now take good care of him," The blonde explained, "Do you hate it?"

"Of course not Emma, I love it!" The woman said and the tears finally slid down her cheeks, she kissed Emma's forehead trying to express how happy and blessed she felt in that moment, for finally gaining her trust back.

The guard made Regina leave the room after the baby was taken to the nursery and she promised Emma she would take good care of Henry and would go visit her as soon as it was the next visitation day at the prison. However Emma made her promise she wouldn't bring Henry with her because she didn't want him to see her in that situation.

...

Leaving Emma all by her own was heartbreaking, she couldn't express with words, what she would give for some of her magic in that moment, to take Emma and Henry with her, back home where they all belonged, together. She glared at the guard as she shook the woman's grasp from her upper arm and headed to the nursery to make sure Henry was being taken care of.

Henry was a healthy little boy and as soon as he completed two days in the nursery he was discharged, Regina was given instructions on how to feed him with formula since she was not the birth mother and essential baby care information before she was left all by her own with the baby. Emma had been moved to the prison pregnancy ward before that and from there she made sure Regina was registered as Henry's temporary guardian until she was released from prison, so Henry didn't end up in the foster care system for her mistake of not taking the right decision in time.

Back in the hotel everyone greeted Regina with the little boy, she was well known now in the place by many of the workers there and many of them despite of her rather explosive temper, were quite fond of her crazy baby obsessed being from the last months, which made Regina feel awkward, not used to have people demonstrate affection towards her. other than her long deceased and her Daniel, some of them made sure she had everything she needed as they escorted her and Henry up to her room, Roni among them making sassy remarks on how she was not crazy after all with all this baby stuff she had been bringing to her bar for so long now, apart from that one night that they didn't mention anymore, both of them were somehow fond of each other now and used to tease each other with sassy remarks and sarcastic comments.

Regina thanked all of them for their concern and they all left except for Roni who was helping her move the crib closer to the bed, Henry started crying in her arms and she suddenly was hit by the uncertainty of wether she was ready to do this or not, but she had to, she needed to be, for Emma and for Henry.

"How are you planning to heat the bottle for the baby?" Roni asked her and Regina looked around the room with a panic expression, realizing she didn't have a stove in the room, she never needed one before, after all she was most of the time out of the hotel or neglecting her meals as to notice that little detail, how she never gave that a thought, was beyond her knowledge and what she was going to do when the baby started crying at 3:00 am in the morning was a mystery that made her heart beat fast and her breathing go uneven, "Hey, it's okay you can warmth it under the running water, come with me I'll show you," Roni told her and Regina followed her to the bathroom with the crying baby in her arms. The woman turned on the sink and let the hot water run placing one of the bottles she found on the baby bag under it, "see? Everything is gonna be alrite mate."

"Slaying the language as usual, are we?" Regina remarked and Roni gave her a smirk knowing the woman was too proud as to thank her for basically sparing her of what could have very well be a huge new mom panic attack.

"I'm sorry mommy, I've been a bad girl," Roni said mockingly handing the warm bottle to the woman.

"Shut up Roni," Regina rolled her eyes and started feeding Henry, who automatically stopped crying.

"Are you gonna be alright though?" The bartender asked her seriously this time .

"Yes, I think I'm gonna be fine, we are gonna do just fine right Henry?"

"How's Emma?" Roni was the only person she had talked in detail about the blonde with, as far as she could, avoiding all the fairytale details and magic mirrors, of course.

"I don't think she's doing so fine, but she'll get through it, we all will," Regina said sadly remembering how heartbroken Emma sounded when they took Henry from her and then forced Regina to leave her side as well.

"I'm sure of that," Roni smiled, remembering when she met Regina for the first time and how far she had gotten from that alcoholic wreck she was in that moment, to the woman now in front of her holding that baby, it was all thanks to that girl. Regina didn't seem to notice but Roni knew she was utterly in love with that Emma Swan she didn't stop talking about, " I gotta go now, but if you need anything I'm just one dialing away, call me anytime." She offered and left the room.

"It's just you and me for now little Prince," Regina whispered kissing his cheek.

...


End file.
